Trusting Your Own Voice

Lately I have come to realize how important it is to listen to my own voice. I have taken a lot of advice from professionals over the past months about how I should be marketing myself, what yoga classes I shoulder offer, what population I should reach out to, etc. I have spent a lot of money on this advice as well. I felt resistent to much of the advice, but I convinced myself that by not taking the advice offered I was being stubborn and preventing my success. So, I threw myself into marketing to a different population (the 20 somethings) only to realize four months later that it just didn't fit. Our speciality is applying yoga therapeutically to help individuals reach optimum balance, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. We help people feel better, function better, gain clarity, move forward in life. That is what we do and we do it well.

The latest advice I am being given relates to my pending hypnotherapy certification. I have been advised not to advertise pricing up front or to give people an idea of how many sessions they might need. I have also been advised not to try and explain what hypnosis is. I may regret it, but I am going with my gut on this one. Those who know me understand that I like to have all my cards on the table. Is this good business? I don't know. Does it feel right? Yes! For some reason, I have been blessed (or cursed) in this life with an extremely sensitive sense of what is right. I respond strongly when I feel I have been misled or deceived and I have an equally strong repulsion for deceiving others. I like to bring everything into the light that is possible to bring into the light. I find it refreshing to do so. Thus in terms of my work as a hypnotherapist, you will find a explanation, approximate guidelines on the number of sessions you will need, and pricing on my website under private offerings.

What about you? Do you trust your own voice? Why? Why not? Who taught you not to trust yourself? Please add your thoughts here if for no other reason than to explore your thoughts and let your voice be heard.

Feeding Phillip

A couple of weeks ago I had a friend visiting from Massachusetts. It was a beautiful day, and we were enjoying lunch outside at Lucky Dills when I spotted a homeless man eating leftover french fries from a vacated table as he walked by. He spoke to no one - he simply continued on down the street to a the next garbage can where he rummaged for more discarded food. Watching him I was overcome by such strong emotions of compassion I almost could not contain them. I absolutely had to help. I approached him and asked if I could buy him lunch. He appeared quite surprised and replied, "That would be great." He told me his name was Phillip. While he sat with my unwitting accomplice, Lori, I went inside to order food. While we were waiting for it to be served we tried to make small talk. I was still so overcome by emotion that I finally excused Lori and I and left him to his lunch. It took me a few more minutes to get my emotions under control.

I experienced this same intensity of feeling only two other times in my life. One was in 1987 in Seattle when my sister and father were visiting me to attend my college graduation. We came upon a homeless woman and a baby as we were exploring the UW district. Again, I was overcome with emotion and felt absulutely certain I had to help. We drove to Safeway and bought peanut butter, bread, plastic utensils and milk for the woman.

The other time was in 2003. This was a difficult time in my own life. My husband had lost his job in 2002 with an Enron-owned company and was having difficulty obtaining a new position. To cover our bills I was working 80 hours a week on-call as an OT in home health while also beginning to teach yoga more and more. Almost everyday I found myself eating a lunch of fast food in the car on my way to my next appointment. One particular day I was parked behind Wendy's when I spotted a woman on a bicycle pulling a cart loaded up with what looked like all her earthly belongings. What really moved me was that she had her cat on a leash and had stopped in a grassy part of the parking lot to give it some food and water. I felt such tremendous compassion for her situation, I simply had to help. I barely contained my emotions as I handed her a 20-dollar bill.

Why did these three needy individuals in a sea of needy individuals move me so? Perhaps I recognized them from a past life. Or perhaps I myself was homeless in a previous life and remembered how it was to rely on the kindness of strangers. Or maybe I was simply chosen by the universe in each of these particular moments to be the one to help. Whatever the reason, I am glad I was there. http://www.livingroomyoga.biz/

Yoga Increases Sensitivity

I take pride in being a very productive, efficient person. But some days - like today - I just can't seem to "do" anything. It was my Sunday to put the cookies out at church so I had to show up. Everyone seemed surreally cheerful - the music hit my ears like bombs going off - I just needed to get out of there. I asked Lois if she could put the cookies out and I fled to the quietude of my home.

Yesterday I attended a workshop on Natural Remedies for Sleep at Living Room Yoga. The presenters husband, Rusty, made a comment that the more yoga one does the more sensitive one becomes. That is sure the case with me. I joke that I have become such a delicate flower, especially for sounds. It is even difficult for me to talk on the telephone - it actually hurts my ears.

My sensitivity to sounds is only rivaled by my aversion to parties and large groups of people. Barbara, a fellow teacher, attended a party that I was supposed to attend last weekend. She said she had to force herself to go because of her own aversion to parties and that she talked with another person who said the same thing. It turned out she was very glad to get to see people like whom she had not seen in a long time but it was still hard to push herself into that situation. Another of my teachers, Laura, admits that mingling for her is akin to torture. She feels exhausted afterwards. This actually is comforting to me because at times I feel like a freak for this.

I wonder why yoga has this affect on people? Do any of you have any thoughts on this?

The Joy of Solitude

As I get older, I am beginning to embrace my inner introvert. I find that crowds are almost intolerable and socializing feels like so much work. Today I stayed home from church and instead distributed flyers in my neighborhood. I had my tunes on, the weather was perfect, every home so interesting ... I was so energized by this time alone.

I usually feel awkward about this trait of mine. I was invited to a party this weekend. I wanted to want to go. But truly the thought of going and making small talk wore me out before I even stepped out the door. I rented movies instead, which I watched while doing computer work. I stayed up late and slept in this morning. It was glorious.

Growing up on a farm I was surrounded by quiet, punctuated by mooing cows, or barking dogs, a thunderstorm. Perhaps this is what my nervous system craves ... the sounds - or lack of sounds - from my childhood. I have always been somewhat sensitive to sound, but I have only gotten moreso over time. I wonder sometimes if it is the yoga. Perhaps it has made me so much more conscious of subtlety that actual noise feels like bomb going off in my head. At any rate, this is how it is for me now.

I am not sure why I wrote about this today except that I spent a glorious weekend mostly alone, doing whatever occurred to me to do. Heaven.

Time to Breathe

Business is still slow for me at the yoga studio. I have to say, though, that I am enjoying (aside from the decreased revenue) having time. Simply time.

My vacuum cleaner is acting up. Usually I would feel like I do not have time to deal with finding the booklet or trying to fix it. Then all the sudden I remembered that I have plenty of time to do just that. I did find the booklet and I did try to figure out what is wrong with it. I failed, but at least I had time to try!

Another simple thing I had time for - methodically working the drawstring back into my drawstring pants. It took patience and time, both of which I had.

This morning my cable box was not working properly. I had time to sit on hold for brighthouse. And then while we were waiting for the box to reboot I had the time to listen to the customer service person tell me that she has been robbed three times while none of her neighbors have. I had the time to suggest to her that she sage her house and repeat a protective mantra. I had time to connect as a human being to another human being.

My husband it working away at the moment. As a surprise to him I decided to load all of his CDs into his computer and purchase him an inexpensive MP3 player. He is still listening to some of his music on cassette and is quite reluctant to make the move to the digital age. He has quite a collection of CDs that I have been methodically "ripping." But I have had time.

This morning I am going to get the honor of listening to Swami Karunanda at the Temple of the Living God and then visit the Sunday market in the Grand Central District. I have time.

Moving Through the Death of Something to New Life

It has been about a week since we made changes at work. I was sad at first. I felt something was dying, ending. And I guess it was. But as I pondered and meditated and allowed myself to feel my feelings, I began to realize that maybe that's ok. Maybe it is ok for the old way to die. So many times in the last four years I felt so very tired. I worked 60-hour weeks. While my work has been rewarding, I had to do so much of it just to keep it all going. I got my first sense of clarity on Sunday morning. I don't want to push and strive anymore. I want to live with peace and ease. Then during meditation at church a phrase appeared in my mind: "The Foundation for Integrating Eastern and Western Medicine." Huh? What does this mean? What shape will this take? Then I decided that I didn't have to know the shape of it. I was just going to show up. Talk to people who appeared in my life about it and see what happened.

This whole week I have been moving with ease through my days. Marketing, laundry, marketing, petting the cats, teaching yoga, meeting potential partners, practicing yoga, petting the cats, yard work, marketing, petting the cats, teaching yoga, doing the dishes, practicing yoga. I enjoyed. I breathed. I found my voice about some things and spoke honestly. Today I allowed myself -after a beauiful walk to and from church - a day of watching chick flicks. It's a beautiful life.

Why is it so hard being a grown-up?

Today I had to do a hard thing. I had to cut the hours of my only employee. She has been the most loyal, devoted, and committed person. It was painful. We both cried. I am hoping adapting to the economic times will allow me to stay open and serving my students. I keep telling myself if it is right for me to stay in business I will. I have done my best. I have tried to make good decisions that are both economically sounds and fair to all concerned. I have tried to create something special, a healing place for people, including me. I think I have succeeded greatly - so many special people are a part of our yoga community. But some simply cannot afford our services anyomore. I am trying to stay the course, keep a positive outlook. I have so much to be grateful for - I have had the privilege of witnessing so much growth and change in the last five years. I hope my cost cutting measures will be enough... I am sad today but also ok.

When Times are Lean be Creative

One of my favorite shows on HGTV is Freestyle. It involves helping people look at what they already own in a new way so they can create a more functional space within their home by using their stuff in a new way. The combination of having new eyes on your stuff, creativity, and a willingness to change are the key elements in a successful transformation.

I know times are tough for many small business owners - and people in general. This has forced me to look at my business in a new way and pursue different avenues of revenue. Some of the avenues I am looking at are trying to sell my CDs and jewelry at some area shops, advertising on my website and newsletter, and beginning a new student referral program. We have also started to create more synergistic relationships with likeminded businesses by doing combinations of seminars and yoga therapy sessions. Right now I feel like I am sowing seeds and tilling the soil. It is hard to know which seeds will germinate, grow, and blossom but I am trying to enjoy the process and the work along the way.

Even though revenues are down, I am very grateful for many things in my life. My home, my husband, my abilities to teach myself a plethora of skills, like website building, marketing, etc., my ability to create artful jewelry. Mostly I am grateful for the shifts I have the privilege of witnessing in the students (and teachers) who grace our classes. So many are kind in sharing how the work we do has positively touched their lives. In lean times - and all the time really - this means the world and helps us to have the strength, stamina, courage, and faith to continue on. A few years ago I had a private yoga session with the owner of a small business. His wife, Robin, had bought him the session, and he really had no interest in yoga. However, the conversation we had that day has stayed with me all this time. He said, "The most important thing is to just keep going; just stay in business." That has become my mantra since then - through buying and rennovating our new space, moving, and now through tough economic times.

The Nuts and Bolts of Following Through on My New Years Intentions

Living Room Yoga is launching its 2009 “Heal Yourself, Heal the World” campaign. Its premise is that each aspect of our being that remains unhealed negatively affects not only ourselves but everyone with whom we interact AND everyone with whom they interact, and so on. Conversely (and fortunately), healing our wounded parts reverberates positive change into the world in the same fashion. To illustrate, a few years ago I had an ingrown toenail. Such a small thing, but its affect on my walking and yoga practice led to muscle pain and dysfunction throughout my body. Its interference with my sleep affected my interactions with others, which most assuredly affected their interactions with others as well. If a tiny ingrown toenail can influence the world in such a way, what power does a quick temper have? Or a general lack of kindness? Or an irrational fear? Or anxiety? With a new president in office it is easy to look outside of ourselves for solutions to world problems. I propose instead that each of us accept responsibility for being a catalyst for change by setting an intention on healing one aspect of the self. I say “setting an intention” because it is not about judging, striving, pushing, or desperately seeking. It is simply about keeping our healing at the forefront of our minds as we work, love, play, practice our yoga, get groceries, clean our house … live our lives. Personally, my intention is to heal the part of myself that compels me to strive and push through rather than move more with the flow of life. I would love to hear what you would like to heal this year … I am trying to figure out how to allow postings on my website, but for now, just email me at stacy@livingroomyoga.biz.
So as a business owner with lots and lots of endless tasks to do, how do I stop striving and pushing and let things flow. I am simply not sure. But I think when I begn to get that adrenaline-induced feeling inside that may be a clue to walk away from what I am doing and take a break. I will start there anyway. I will keep you posted!