The Joy of Solitude

As I get older, I am beginning to embrace my inner introvert. I find that crowds are almost intolerable and socializing feels like so much work. Today I stayed home from church and instead distributed flyers in my neighborhood. I had my tunes on, the weather was perfect, every home so interesting ... I was so energized by this time alone.

I usually feel awkward about this trait of mine. I was invited to a party this weekend. I wanted to want to go. But truly the thought of going and making small talk wore me out before I even stepped out the door. I rented movies instead, which I watched while doing computer work. I stayed up late and slept in this morning. It was glorious.

Growing up on a farm I was surrounded by quiet, punctuated by mooing cows, or barking dogs, a thunderstorm. Perhaps this is what my nervous system craves ... the sounds - or lack of sounds - from my childhood. I have always been somewhat sensitive to sound, but I have only gotten moreso over time. I wonder sometimes if it is the yoga. Perhaps it has made me so much more conscious of subtlety that actual noise feels like bomb going off in my head. At any rate, this is how it is for me now.

I am not sure why I wrote about this today except that I spent a glorious weekend mostly alone, doing whatever occurred to me to do. Heaven.