Moving Through the Death of Something to New Life

It has been about a week since we made changes at work. I was sad at first. I felt something was dying, ending. And I guess it was. But as I pondered and meditated and allowed myself to feel my feelings, I began to realize that maybe that's ok. Maybe it is ok for the old way to die. So many times in the last four years I felt so very tired. I worked 60-hour weeks. While my work has been rewarding, I had to do so much of it just to keep it all going. I got my first sense of clarity on Sunday morning. I don't want to push and strive anymore. I want to live with peace and ease. Then during meditation at church a phrase appeared in my mind: "The Foundation for Integrating Eastern and Western Medicine." Huh? What does this mean? What shape will this take? Then I decided that I didn't have to know the shape of it. I was just going to show up. Talk to people who appeared in my life about it and see what happened.

This whole week I have been moving with ease through my days. Marketing, laundry, marketing, petting the cats, teaching yoga, meeting potential partners, practicing yoga, petting the cats, yard work, marketing, petting the cats, teaching yoga, doing the dishes, practicing yoga. I enjoyed. I breathed. I found my voice about some things and spoke honestly. Today I allowed myself -after a beauiful walk to and from church - a day of watching chick flicks. It's a beautiful life.