Speaking Your Truth

Have you ever felt unsettled or uncomfortable about a new relationship or a pending job or commitment but were not able to put your finger on why? If you are like me, you may have gone ahead with your plans because you felt unable to justify doing otherwise. What I have learned is that my gut feeling about people and situations always turns out to be right. Unfortunately in the past I often suffered for months (or even years) before making a change. It was as if I had to collect a certain amount of empiracal data (in the form of suffering) to feel like I was justified in stopping the situation.

Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations with God series and Happier Than God points out how important it is to "speak your truth as soon as you know it." I have really taken this to heart. Now as soon as I get that unsettled feeling that something is just not right I act. It may be as simple as saying to the parties involved, "I am not sure why but this is just not feeling right for me." There is so much freedom (and suffering prevention) from this!

The applications are endless ... If you feel weird about something a friend said to you, you can say, "Something is bothering me about our conversation. Can we talk about it?" instead of ruminating on it interally. If you are thinking of bringing someone into your home or business and you get a sense of unease, you can say, "I am not feeling right about the situation. Let's take a step back." In these situations, when you do what is right for you, it benefits everyone involved.

So this month, practice saving energy by trusting your gut and speaking your truth.

Visit http://www.livingroomyoga.biz/ to find a yoga class or holistic workshop to meet your needs.

Mantra: I speak my truth as soon as I am aware of it.

Namaste,

Stacy

Yoga Increases Sensitivity

I take pride in being a very productive, efficient person. But some days - like today - I just can't seem to "do" anything. It was my Sunday to put the cookies out at church so I had to show up. Everyone seemed surreally cheerful - the music hit my ears like bombs going off - I just needed to get out of there. I asked Lois if she could put the cookies out and I fled to the quietude of my home.

Yesterday I attended a workshop on Natural Remedies for Sleep at Living Room Yoga. The presenters husband, Rusty, made a comment that the more yoga one does the more sensitive one becomes. That is sure the case with me. I joke that I have become such a delicate flower, especially for sounds. It is even difficult for me to talk on the telephone - it actually hurts my ears.

My sensitivity to sounds is only rivaled by my aversion to parties and large groups of people. Barbara, a fellow teacher, attended a party that I was supposed to attend last weekend. She said she had to force herself to go because of her own aversion to parties and that she talked with another person who said the same thing. It turned out she was very glad to get to see people like whom she had not seen in a long time but it was still hard to push herself into that situation. Another of my teachers, Laura, admits that mingling for her is akin to torture. She feels exhausted afterwards. This actually is comforting to me because at times I feel like a freak for this.

I wonder why yoga has this affect on people? Do any of you have any thoughts on this?

The Joy of Solitude

As I get older, I am beginning to embrace my inner introvert. I find that crowds are almost intolerable and socializing feels like so much work. Today I stayed home from church and instead distributed flyers in my neighborhood. I had my tunes on, the weather was perfect, every home so interesting ... I was so energized by this time alone.

I usually feel awkward about this trait of mine. I was invited to a party this weekend. I wanted to want to go. But truly the thought of going and making small talk wore me out before I even stepped out the door. I rented movies instead, which I watched while doing computer work. I stayed up late and slept in this morning. It was glorious.

Growing up on a farm I was surrounded by quiet, punctuated by mooing cows, or barking dogs, a thunderstorm. Perhaps this is what my nervous system craves ... the sounds - or lack of sounds - from my childhood. I have always been somewhat sensitive to sound, but I have only gotten moreso over time. I wonder sometimes if it is the yoga. Perhaps it has made me so much more conscious of subtlety that actual noise feels like bomb going off in my head. At any rate, this is how it is for me now.

I am not sure why I wrote about this today except that I spent a glorious weekend mostly alone, doing whatever occurred to me to do. Heaven.

Time to Breathe

Business is still slow for me at the yoga studio. I have to say, though, that I am enjoying (aside from the decreased revenue) having time. Simply time.

My vacuum cleaner is acting up. Usually I would feel like I do not have time to deal with finding the booklet or trying to fix it. Then all the sudden I remembered that I have plenty of time to do just that. I did find the booklet and I did try to figure out what is wrong with it. I failed, but at least I had time to try!

Another simple thing I had time for - methodically working the drawstring back into my drawstring pants. It took patience and time, both of which I had.

This morning my cable box was not working properly. I had time to sit on hold for brighthouse. And then while we were waiting for the box to reboot I had the time to listen to the customer service person tell me that she has been robbed three times while none of her neighbors have. I had the time to suggest to her that she sage her house and repeat a protective mantra. I had time to connect as a human being to another human being.

My husband it working away at the moment. As a surprise to him I decided to load all of his CDs into his computer and purchase him an inexpensive MP3 player. He is still listening to some of his music on cassette and is quite reluctant to make the move to the digital age. He has quite a collection of CDs that I have been methodically "ripping." But I have had time.

This morning I am going to get the honor of listening to Swami Karunanda at the Temple of the Living God and then visit the Sunday market in the Grand Central District. I have time.

Moving Through the Death of Something to New Life

It has been about a week since we made changes at work. I was sad at first. I felt something was dying, ending. And I guess it was. But as I pondered and meditated and allowed myself to feel my feelings, I began to realize that maybe that's ok. Maybe it is ok for the old way to die. So many times in the last four years I felt so very tired. I worked 60-hour weeks. While my work has been rewarding, I had to do so much of it just to keep it all going. I got my first sense of clarity on Sunday morning. I don't want to push and strive anymore. I want to live with peace and ease. Then during meditation at church a phrase appeared in my mind: "The Foundation for Integrating Eastern and Western Medicine." Huh? What does this mean? What shape will this take? Then I decided that I didn't have to know the shape of it. I was just going to show up. Talk to people who appeared in my life about it and see what happened.

This whole week I have been moving with ease through my days. Marketing, laundry, marketing, petting the cats, teaching yoga, meeting potential partners, practicing yoga, petting the cats, yard work, marketing, petting the cats, teaching yoga, doing the dishes, practicing yoga. I enjoyed. I breathed. I found my voice about some things and spoke honestly. Today I allowed myself -after a beauiful walk to and from church - a day of watching chick flicks. It's a beautiful life.

Why is it so hard being a grown-up?

Today I had to do a hard thing. I had to cut the hours of my only employee. She has been the most loyal, devoted, and committed person. It was painful. We both cried. I am hoping adapting to the economic times will allow me to stay open and serving my students. I keep telling myself if it is right for me to stay in business I will. I have done my best. I have tried to make good decisions that are both economically sounds and fair to all concerned. I have tried to create something special, a healing place for people, including me. I think I have succeeded greatly - so many special people are a part of our yoga community. But some simply cannot afford our services anyomore. I am trying to stay the course, keep a positive outlook. I have so much to be grateful for - I have had the privilege of witnessing so much growth and change in the last five years. I hope my cost cutting measures will be enough... I am sad today but also ok.

When Times are Lean be Creative

One of my favorite shows on HGTV is Freestyle. It involves helping people look at what they already own in a new way so they can create a more functional space within their home by using their stuff in a new way. The combination of having new eyes on your stuff, creativity, and a willingness to change are the key elements in a successful transformation.

I know times are tough for many small business owners - and people in general. This has forced me to look at my business in a new way and pursue different avenues of revenue. Some of the avenues I am looking at are trying to sell my CDs and jewelry at some area shops, advertising on my website and newsletter, and beginning a new student referral program. We have also started to create more synergistic relationships with likeminded businesses by doing combinations of seminars and yoga therapy sessions. Right now I feel like I am sowing seeds and tilling the soil. It is hard to know which seeds will germinate, grow, and blossom but I am trying to enjoy the process and the work along the way.

Even though revenues are down, I am very grateful for many things in my life. My home, my husband, my abilities to teach myself a plethora of skills, like website building, marketing, etc., my ability to create artful jewelry. Mostly I am grateful for the shifts I have the privilege of witnessing in the students (and teachers) who grace our classes. So many are kind in sharing how the work we do has positively touched their lives. In lean times - and all the time really - this means the world and helps us to have the strength, stamina, courage, and faith to continue on. A few years ago I had a private yoga session with the owner of a small business. His wife, Robin, had bought him the session, and he really had no interest in yoga. However, the conversation we had that day has stayed with me all this time. He said, "The most important thing is to just keep going; just stay in business." That has become my mantra since then - through buying and rennovating our new space, moving, and now through tough economic times.